Woman Browsing for Wine She Could Pour Down Sink in Case She Quits Again

Mathieu Boumal
1 min readMay 26, 2021
Photo by Akshay Chauhan on Unsplash

Browsing for wine at the liquor store, Eleanor Ames was specifically looking for a bottle she would be comfortable pouring down the sink in the event she decided to quit again.

“I don’t want a crappy wine, but at the same time, I don’t want to spend too much money on it in case I get one of those moments again when I decide to become sober for the twentieth time”, said Ames, who’s trying hard to be strategic about the next time she will get angry, sad and resentful.

“Then again, I suppose it’s possible I’ll drink at least some of the wine before eventually emptying it on my dirty dishes, so maybe I should treat myself to a decent bottle. I think I’ll buy some beer alongside it though, in case I do throw the wine away.”

Sources reported that Ames didn’t drink the wine, and instead of pouring it down the sink, used it for a disgusting chicken recipe before throwing out the dish.

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Mathieu Boumal

I’m a comedian and writer originally from Belgium. I write for The Daily Mash, Le Gorafi, and other things. Wanna hire me? Sweet. HTTP://boumal.substack.com