Woman Browsing for Wine She Could Pour Down Sink in Case She Quits Again

Photo by Akshay Chauhan on Unsplash

Browsing for wine at the liquor store, Eleanor Ames was specifically looking for a bottle she would be comfortable pouring down the sink in the event she decided to quit again.

“I don’t want a crappy wine, but at the same time, I don’t want to spend too much money on it in case I get one of those moments again when I decide to become sober for the twentieth time”, said Ames, who’s trying hard to be strategic about the next time she will get angry, sad and resentful.

“Then again, I suppose it’s possible I’ll drink at least some of the wine before eventually emptying it on my dirty dishes, so maybe I should treat myself to a decent bottle. I think I’ll buy some beer alongside it though, in case I do throw the wine away.”

Sources reported that Ames didn’t drink the wine, and instead of pouring it down the sink, used it for a disgusting chicken recipe before throwing out the dish.



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Mathieu Boumal

I’m a comedian and writer originally from Belgium. I write for The Daily Mash, Le Gorafi, and other things. Wanna hire me? Sweet. HTTP://boumal.substack.com