Rabbi, Priest, Imam Come Together For Fight To The Death

Photo by Sander Crombach on Unsplash

JERUSALEM — Highly respected representatives of the three main Abrahamic religions decided to set aside their differences and come together for a bloody fight in which only one of them will survive.

“We thought it would be important to take a break with all these heated discussions and realize that, at the end of the day, we’re all capable to just beat the shit out of each other so that only the best one gets out alive”, said Father Giaccmo, a Catholic priest who came all the way from Rome to prove to the world the superiority of the Christian faith when it comes to beating your opponents to death in a brutal, unrestricted hand-to-hand combat.

“I am looking forward to meeting my counterparts, so to speak, and to show them what’s up when it comes to the will of Allah”, said Soufjan Bakalem, a Sunni imam based in Cairo, Egypt.

As for David Eidelman, a rabbi based in Jerusalem, things are a bit more complicated: “Hey hey hey, wait a minute, I didn’t see any prophecy about this in the Torah, what am I getting myself into here? I can’t even do more than three push-ups.”

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Mathieu Boumal

I’m a comedian and writer originally from Belgium. I write for The Daily Mash, Le Gorafi, and other things. Wanna hire me? Sweet. HTTP://boumal.substack.com