Man’s Chopstick Ordeal Closest He Will Get To Experiencing New Culture

By struggling to use the chopsticks accompanying his takeaway meal, Henry Finch has come the closest he will ever get in his entire life to experiencing a new culture.

“I’ve been having cramps in my hand for the past 30 minutes and I’m far from having finished my Pad Thai”, said Finch, who never had any desire to travel abroad and thinks there is no point in learning a foreign language because “everybody speaks English”.

“Here’s what I can tell you though, all this Chinese chopstick crap has been a very enriching experience, and I’m glad I got to broaden my horizons by dismissing my usual cutlery for one special, exotic evening.”

This mildly exotic adventure led Finch, who believes China borders Mexico and that Europe is a country, to express his desire to eat a truly American meal, “such as a good old tikka masala.”