Man Quickly Clipping Toenails In Restroom After Realizing He Might Get Laid

Photo by Jonas Kakaroto on Unsplash

Suddenly coming to the realization that he might get lucky at the end of his date, Larry Garrison excused himself from the table to clip his toenails in the restaurant’s restroom.

“I only met her once before, and I wasn’t even sure this was a date, so I figured it didn’t matter if my toenails were two inches long since she probably wasn’t going to see them anyway”, said Garrison, who clipped his toenails in total panic realizing the embarrassment he would experience in case he scratched her leg. “I was afraid she would think I was pooping.”

“We didn’t end up having sex, so I sort of regret doing it. But hey, I guess you learn from experience. Next time, I won’t clip my toenails until right before we get in bed.”

As he prepared himself for his next date a few days later, Garrison went to his local KFC to steal some wet wipes in case he needed to clean his private parts in a hurry.

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Mathieu Boumal

I’m a comedian and writer originally from Belgium. I write for The Daily Mash, Le Gorafi, and other things. Wanna hire me? Sweet. HTTP://boumal.substack.com