Man In Long Distance, Open Relationship Unaware Girlfriend Died Six Months Ago
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM — Having opened up his relationship last year after moving to Europe without her, 34-year-old Floyd Baldwin is currently oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend has been dead for six months.
“It’s going great, we really reached a point where we just give each other the space we both need, we respect each other and of course there’s a lot of trust involved”, said Baldwin, whose girlfriend’s funeral was held six months ago while he was drunk and failing to seduce a colleague at a house party.
“Of course you have to work on it, because it’s still a relationship, but you have to know when to let your partner have some space, and that’s why I’ve been focusing more on my Tinder matches these days.”
Sources reported Baldwin has been starting to suspect something is wrong since he noticed his girlfriend hasn’t been responding to his dick pics.
