Dying Paleontologist Refuses Burial In Favor Of Fossilization
Wishing to go against traditional methods of final disposition, Professor of Paleontology Mitchell Lopes decided to have his remains fossilized and deposited in the Earth’s crust.
“I cannot wait for my cell’s lumens to get completely filled with crystals as the fossilization process unfolds in the next few thousand years”, said Lopes, who doesn’t want a sad funeral and instead would rather have his loved ones embark on a geological adventure.
“The best way to be remembered beyond your death is to get carefully inspected with a toothbrush millions of years later, after your bones got crystallized through permineralization.”
Documents revealed the specifics of Lopes’ plan, showing evidence that his true plan is to eventually get cloned and have an amusement park revolving around him.
